APB: Hiro T. Protagonist

I'd like to go on record and say that I am not fond of guns. They're just too, you know, filled with leaden killing power. I want guns under control in this fair nation. Most civilized nations have such tight controls on guns that even police don't carry them. This should be a good thing, but instead of fostering peace and brotherly love, it seems to be creating a mini-epidemic of sword attacks. And axe murders. And still more sword rampages. I love machetes as much as the next person-they're such wonderful, and sharp, symbols of proletarian vigilantism-but I'm not excited about adding "is that a katana under your trench or are you just happy to see me" to my tired cliche vocabulary.