Jezebel informed me that drinking three drinks a night will give you breast cancer.
Granted, pretty much everything gives you cancer these days, but if I can't hide from my body's inevitable collapse in the sweet, dark embrace of my favorite bar, where am I supposed to go? The gym? Hell no.
Off the top of my head, here are things that are going to give me cancer and/or kill me through other awful side effects:
French Press Coffee
What's the point in living without these things?