Cassandra Maybe, but not that vapid bitch

I just want to comment on Elephant's most recent post: I appreciate the sentiment, my love, and I too sacrifice to our fair love goddess, but I must emphasize that I am not, repeat, am NOT, as worthless and inactive as Helen. I'm not helpless, for God's sake.

And Liliana, a hint: he's awfully fond of gifts. Large ones. Like horses, or maybe Trojan elephants?

If Robin Lovitt had been on Death Row in a state with a Republican governor with presidential ambitions, I doubt he'd have been so lucky. No quibbling over the reasons, right, Liliana?

Yeah yeah, I've been gone for a while. I'm not dead or anything, but Thanksgiving found me in Maryland doing my best not to embarrass myself in front of the in-laws, and now I have a crazy work schedule and no wireless at my apartment.

I'm glad to see that in my absence, the Maoists are still keeping it real. I really wish we heard more dispatches from Nepal. I still regret not studying abroad there(revolution, schmevolution, to paraphrase a friend, just knowing the Himalayas exist makes whatever happens in my life okay).

Also, lets keep the threats in the comments to a minimum. There's only five of you, so play nice. I'll get to everything when I have the luxury of time to play with the blog again.

Lessons

I learned new things this weekend. Here's a brief list:

1. I don't hate my retail job. I actually kind of like it.

1(a) Coach bags are overpriced.
1(b) People who buy Coach bags "because they forgot their evening bag" are out of touch with reality.

2. Food poisoning sucks. A lot.

3. If Brett Favre played for the Redskins, they wouldn't be 5-4.

If you refer to number 2, you'll understand why I was thinking about number 3.

Why working in a huge department store is bad

You're surrounded by so much stuff, so many items, that you forget to put your favorite ring(purchased years ago in another country) back on when you're done washing your hands in the bathroom.

:(

:(

:(

Now my day doesn't seem so good...

Lemmy Says, "Only Lemmings Use Drugs"

That's right, the frontman for Motorhead went to speak to Welsh Parliament to offer his services as a "Headbanging-My antidrug" shill.

Personally I'm in favor of any anti-drug campaign that takes the "it's not all drugs, just smack" position in trying to keep the easily influenced young ones out of trouble. Lemmy seems like the parent that says, "I don't mind if you do it, just as long as you're in the house,...and you share."

I pity the youth of Wales, although now I sure would love to hear Ace of Spades...

Halloween, an addendum

I didn't even notice the penis. How blind I've become!

News, or something like it

Without a wireless router in my house, I might have gone all day without seeing this, truly a sign of the apocalypse. Aaron Brown may be responsible for the strangest bit of news anchoring I've ever seen(following the massive anti-war protests in 2003), but he doesn't deserve to be so abused by CNN. Jonathan Klein is a true moron-why else would he subject the public to THREE HOURS of Wolf Blitzer and then force them to deal with Larry King? I remember when CNN was good, when it actually gave me information, but that was a long time ago. It's sad how quickly it crumbled. As if this is any surprise to anyone. It's still sad...

I'm sure Gawker's covered this like crazy already, but, as I said, I have greatly reduced access to internet. The new job will take me away from computers for hours at a time! I lost yesterday to corporate retail training(do they stop treating you like a retarded monkey at some point, or are you supposed to not notice?), so I'm really out of it. Did I miss anything?

Halloween 2005: Not too hot for penguins

Everyone loves penguins!Another dispatch from the Sister, this time from the storied blocks of State Street during the Halloween festivities(100,000 people in six blocks and fewer than 300 arrested-I call that a triumph!).

Christmas comes early

How else to explain this and this happening at the same time? The only thing that would have been better is actual indictments, but Santa never brings the pony like you want. I love that the Administration has been so adamant about producing documents(although it's hardly a new thing), and made a lame attempt to blame this fiasco on unreasonable Congressional requests. And the polling numbers!

It's not all lollipops and unicorns. While I really, really hope these abysmal approval ratings, indictments, and catastrophic failures carry over in the public mind to the 2006 election, all of this was in place long before November 2004. As happy as I am that there is finally comeuppance, it stings a little too. We shouldn't have to be happy with such petty vengeance, laughing at Fitzgerald's masterful leak strategy. We should have been able to beat these guys a year ago(almost exactly, which hurts too). It'll be a victory to see Karl Rove and Scooter Libby indicted, but it'll be 360 days late and 2 bosses short.

While we're on the bittersweet, it looks like the legitimate media will not be giving the starving public the hot British interview action they were hoping for. Never fear, for the independent press(read: me) will soldier on and bring it to the masses, free of substance-crushing cuts and a dignity eroding editing process.

Come to think of it, that publicity photo of Miers reminds me of someone. There's a...fossilized quality to her that is just so familiar...

Something in the Air, maybe?

I had a really creepy dream last night where I was the victim of workplace sexual harrassment...by Nicholas Kristof.

???

Snapshot

Picture this: I'm walking down a tree-lined street, watching scarlet leaves fall to the ground, pulling a 70 pound rolling suitcase. Who said moving isn't an adventure?

Success!

At long last, my day of triumph has arrived-I finished the Sunday Crossword. And I found a short term job and found a place to live. It's a little embarrassing how uninspired I've been of late; I promise things will improve shortly.

Too bad you can't blame them for gas prices, huh?

To the residents of Loyal, WI: Be thankful you're dodging horseshit and not bullets aimed at your back. There are worse disputes over cultural differences, that's all I'm saying.

Jim's Journal, Minneapolis Style

I went to the bus stop and waited for the bus to come. It did, but the bus driver didn't stop for me. That made me sad.

Congrats, Showoff

Come on, Eric, you're making us all look bad!

Seriously though, well done. The people of Minneapolis are not safe-I'm going to wander the streets shoving this in the face of each and ever person I see, shouting, "That's my friend!"

Keep fighting the power.

A New Plan

Resolved: From now on I will only make noodles by cooking the entire bag and then mixing them with an entire stick of butter. Best. Thing. Ever.

Huh?

I've had a confusing couple of days. Last night I engaged in religious activity for the first time in nearly a year, and it wasn't even my religion(such as I sort-of-almost have one), and today I checked my hometown newspaper's website and discovered something strange happening in the column of my mentor, John Nichols-he speaks well of Representative Mark Green. I'm all for respecting people who have different opinions, but Mark Green? Mark Green? I'm glad that the column was about Green's need to deal honestly with campaign funds; overall, the content of the column was good. It's just this one tiny bit-

My sense has always been that, while I might disagree with him on many issues, I could respect Mark Green. And I even entertained the notion that he might have some of the qualities Wisconsinites ought to look for in a governor.

What qualities are those, John? Please, tell me. The qualities that make him oppose a woman's right to choose? The qualities that make him such a fan of Faith Based Initiatives? That led him to suport Bush's absurd tax cuts? I'm confused. I know that Jim Doyle is a slimy, spineless, power hungry, miserable man without principle or ideals, but Mark Green is a right wing nutcase! Argh, now I'm all frustrated. At least I can eat(sorry sweetie).

Firebomb my innocence, why don't you?

Two more things-the person in the kitchen next door just CANNOT stop cleaning. It's starting to creep me out. Blood isn't that hard to get off linoleum...I mean...um.... More importantly, this whole UNICEF firebombing the Smurfs is as fucked up as anything gets. Thanks a lot, Wonkette. What's worse is there isn't even reliable video on the web to prove that some brilliant but sick bastard realized the most effective way to make Westerners feel bad was to mess with IMAGINARY societies. Smurfs are way cuter than legless and emaciated orphans, by a lot.

A little clarity

First things first-my Ls are getting a little randy in my comments, which was a lot of fun when I was unattached but now feels just a little bit dirty. For shame, ladies!

Second, I had my worried-over meeting this morning, and my favorite part was when I heard the words, "If I could hire you to start working today, I would." To sum up-I still have no job, but I definitely, absolutely will by the end of the year. And I get to pick what I want to do! It's not every day you get to choose your next career adventure. I should write one of those books. If you want to take the Communications Director job, turn to page 112. Might be fun.

Nothing has changed in the immediate sense, but I feel fantastic knowing that I've actually got something to look forward to(assuming the money people decide to fund us. Anyone know people who want to give a million or two to rural voter organizing? Please? Pretty please?)

Back to the short term job hunt. Then maybe a run(I know, crazy), then...PIZZA! Living in style!

I've officially written the whiteboards first words. Can you guess what they are?